So Mom Had a Heart Attack

 I had airline tickets purchased for November visit to see my family in Washington but I guess that just wasn't soon enough for mom so she went and had a heart attack in mid-October. She had a five bypass surgery with some complications with fluid build-up following. Meanwhile, I got out there to care for dad who was still in hospice and made sure I could assist mom for a few weeks. 

It was nothing like a fun trip to Disneyland, not surprisingly. I worked my butt off de-cluttering the house (filled there trash and recycling (and a couple of their neighbor's--with permission--a few weeks in a row and made donation runs), helping mom get around in the house and to her doctor appointments, making simple meals, and trying to get dad to take his medication properly. (I threw out so many expired prescription drugs. Drugs they moved form California!) Mom felt so awful, that she tenderly said her goodbye to me, that she loved me and had no regrets. We actually did have a scare that first night for which I called the paramedics in for Mom the first night because her breathing became to labored. 

While I was there for three and a half weeks, I learned that I could love her sweet dog. I learned that I don't want my marriage to be like theirs. I learned that they love throwing things in boxes, any box. I learned they like to label folders but it doesn't me that's what's in it. 

I love my dad and I was glad for the opportunity to show that love through service. I love my mom and service is certainly her love language. Besides, I was happy to repay a debt, as she took care of me and my family when I had cancer and she did it being a lot older than I am now. I love her for it. Service is my love language too and my family did a great job holding down the fort back at home.  Neal and friends got our backyard fence torn down and a new and improved one up. They had scripture study with me on the phone just about every night to help me be strong spiritually.

I did get some fun time catching up with mom and my sister. I tried with Dad but he was more interested in watching westerns and Hallmark movies, and understandably, sleeping.

I knew I'd miss Halloween with the kids so we made a candy cake in advance for them to later thaw and top. Trick or treating wasn't in the plans given the pandemic so we provided sweet opportunities at home.

It was exhausting at my parents but I had been preparing to visit with them anyway and because of the difficult relationship with my dad, in particular, I prepared as best I could through scripture study, fasting, and prayer.  It really did help me be patient and helpful and enjoy the good around me. My pleasures were scripture study, walking the dog, home improvement shows, and seeing my parents and sister's faces.

I am grateful for my family and Heavenly Father who sustained me through it all. It was hard to leave mom. I got what I could get done to have help come in, to leave Jolene with all the contacts she may need, and started to get finances in a easier way to handle for mom. The rest I had to leave to Mom and Jolene and assist from afar. I said the best good-bye to my dad that I could, knowing it would likely be the last time I'd see him.

I cried in the shuttle on the way to the airport. I cried in the airport. I cried in the airplane. I was happy to be going home but I was sad that things were so hard for my parents, especially mom.

Neal picked me up from the airport for my late night flight. That was the best hug a wife could ask for. When we pulled onto our street I was greeted by one of the most loving gestures I could imagine--Neal had the kids help him get the Christmas lights up on the house and in the yard. How he managed to have it in him to do that after just finishing the fence project, I don't know. I cried for all the love I felt. I had one whole day to get my laundry done and pack before we took off for Thanksgiving. For someone who'd been away from home for just short of a month, I actually couldn't wait to get away with my family.