Remembering Mom

Since Neal's mother's passing a year and a half ago, we have started a tradition to honor her around her birthday.  We do a family service project because of her giving heart and concern for the well being of others.  Last year we stuffed bags at a food pantry in Princeton. This year we decided to keep it a little closer to home because we step into the community quite a bit and we needed to refocus our respect and kindness on our family members.

For one week, we all had to do at least 2 acts of kindness/service for each family member per day. We made a wall chart with stickers, as parents we a talked about it each day and well, it failed miserably!  So we rediscussed it and gave it another week and there was ever-so-slight improvement. Neal really blew us all away that first week and Keri was able to catch up that second week but the kids were just--uhg!

So it failed Grandma Sue, but hey, we did try and try some more.

It was not long after this happening that Keri had arranged for the kids to go to McDonald's for them to use their much anticipated dental coupon for a free cone.  We hit McDonald's twice a year for this reason alone--good 6 month dental check ups.

They wanted to go to another McDonald's not near our house and Keri considered it but found out through other more regular attending mothers that the one closest to our house had a much better play area, it was cleaner, and, this one is important in the summer, had better air conditioning.  So they were told that I had thought about the two options and had decided on the one closest to us.

At this news you would have thought I had killed a kitten in front of them (okay, slight exaggeration). Their was wailing and gnashing of teeth and don't even get me started on the whining and "boss mom around" talk I was getting. Suddenly, there was no McDonald's option at all.  What?! What just happened? Yep, yanked that out from under their stomping feet.

This was followed up with a quick reminder that the only things they were entitled to were food, clothes, a roof, and to be raised up in the gospel by a father and a mother.  Everything, including their preferences on the absolutes were privileges. I reminded them when I am treated with respect, I am more likely to respond in a positive way.

The next two weeks were awesome and then they got another quick reminder when we had to cancel an all day play date with their much loved cousins which included a trip to the movie theater and a well liked splash park, for disrespectful talk.

The remainder of the summer has been, um, well. AWESOME! My little angel babies, although still able to have their own opinions, are much quicker to say "thank you " and "please", help out around the house, and choose their words more wisely.  They fight less.  I yell less.  It's become much better in our home.

So Susan, our family didn't need sticker charts after all to celebrate your generous nature.  We just needed reminders of what was an absolute and a privilege.  Thanks for the divine inspiration as we raise your grandbabies and grow as parents.