Thanksgiving

 Our prophet encouraged us to give thanks by posting to social media for a few days before Thanksgiving. How did he know I needed to feel and express gratitude after such a trying time? No surprise there. I told others my gratitude for service, my parents, my health, helpful ways to de-stress, and my family.

We took a couple days to get to Virginia this time. We were glad to see Kira and David and all the furies that live with them (both indoors and out). Oma and Opa and his sister, our Aunt Winnie, joined us too. Loved the way everyone pitched in to help with all the meals. Loved talking and just being with others. Loved getting out to walk and see Natural Bridge and the Roanoke Star again (got a picture WITH the star this time, better to trust family rather than complete strangers to take a good picture). 

Happily, this is the week Jolene told me mom was making humongous gains in her abilities.  They both said, I had done the hardest part--not to brag but I did start using ibuprofen again!  Unfortunately, this is also the time that mom started refusing the idea to have help come in.  Very frustrating but hard for mom to judge too. Also at this time, Barbara, my cousin, got in touch with me and let us know that my Uncle Rick, who has been more of a father figure in my life, was moved to ICU and that no more could be done in his battle with stomach cancer. He died Thanksgiving evening. I cried quietly and the family I was with were very comforting. I still enjoyed Thanksgiving. Life is just hard sometimes, you know.

Loved this trip. It was perfect. Kira and David are so genuine and the best hosts. It was the right amount of distraction, rest, and family. I felt renewed returning to home and the upcoming Christmas holiday.

This is my favorite picture from Thanksgiving. Kira is presenting her pumpkin roll on her mother's china and David is chasing his nephew through the busy kitchen!

My loving Uncle Rick

Following is the tribute I left for his family after his passing:

What can I say about Uncle Rick?! As a kid, he was fun to be around and do things with when our family would visit but he let you know when you got on his nerves--by pressing one of your nerves in your shoulder neck area! Instant attention-getter!

In my youth and young adult years he gave me his time and wisdom. I loved visiting him and Aunt Lacey and the cousins that were still home when I'd come visit on the weekends. He was really good at listening and he gave sound advice. I always felt very loved by him. In fact, I can easily say he was the positive male influence in my life until my sweet husband came along.

As a married adult, he was just great to spend time with the few chances I got. He appreciated my quirks and sense of humor. I loved him for his "dad jokes" and we both loved and talked about genealogy. He kindly accepted calls for quick input for the occasional kid that was sick. He's the kind of uncle, that even though he felt bad, especially in the last year, he took time to write to my son who was newly diagnosed with dyslexia, sharing his own experiences with the disorder and offering what worked for him and providing hope.

For an imperfect human being, he sure got a lot right! I love him. I am already missing him. I know he was greeted by many on the other side and I know I will see him again.

I love you, Aunt Lacey and my wonderful cousins!  Thank you for sharing Uncle Rick with me.

So Mom Had a Heart Attack

 I had airline tickets purchased for November visit to see my family in Washington but I guess that just wasn't soon enough for mom so she went and had a heart attack in mid-October. She had a five bypass surgery with some complications with fluid build-up following. Meanwhile, I got out there to care for dad who was still in hospice and made sure I could assist mom for a few weeks. 

It was nothing like a fun trip to Disneyland, not surprisingly. I worked my butt off de-cluttering the house (filled there trash and recycling (and a couple of their neighbor's--with permission--a few weeks in a row and made donation runs), helping mom get around in the house and to her doctor appointments, making simple meals, and trying to get dad to take his medication properly. (I threw out so many expired prescription drugs. Drugs they moved form California!) Mom felt so awful, that she tenderly said her goodbye to me, that she loved me and had no regrets. We actually did have a scare that first night for which I called the paramedics in for Mom the first night because her breathing became to labored. 

While I was there for three and a half weeks, I learned that I could love her sweet dog. I learned that I don't want my marriage to be like theirs. I learned that they love throwing things in boxes, any box. I learned they like to label folders but it doesn't me that's what's in it. 

I love my dad and I was glad for the opportunity to show that love through service. I love my mom and service is certainly her love language. Besides, I was happy to repay a debt, as she took care of me and my family when I had cancer and she did it being a lot older than I am now. I love her for it. Service is my love language too and my family did a great job holding down the fort back at home.  Neal and friends got our backyard fence torn down and a new and improved one up. They had scripture study with me on the phone just about every night to help me be strong spiritually.

I did get some fun time catching up with mom and my sister. I tried with Dad but he was more interested in watching westerns and Hallmark movies, and understandably, sleeping.

I knew I'd miss Halloween with the kids so we made a candy cake in advance for them to later thaw and top. Trick or treating wasn't in the plans given the pandemic so we provided sweet opportunities at home.

It was exhausting at my parents but I had been preparing to visit with them anyway and because of the difficult relationship with my dad, in particular, I prepared as best I could through scripture study, fasting, and prayer.  It really did help me be patient and helpful and enjoy the good around me. My pleasures were scripture study, walking the dog, home improvement shows, and seeing my parents and sister's faces.

I am grateful for my family and Heavenly Father who sustained me through it all. It was hard to leave mom. I got what I could get done to have help come in, to leave Jolene with all the contacts she may need, and started to get finances in a easier way to handle for mom. The rest I had to leave to Mom and Jolene and assist from afar. I said the best good-bye to my dad that I could, knowing it would likely be the last time I'd see him.

I cried in the shuttle on the way to the airport. I cried in the airport. I cried in the airplane. I was happy to be going home but I was sad that things were so hard for my parents, especially mom.

Neal picked me up from the airport for my late night flight. That was the best hug a wife could ask for. When we pulled onto our street I was greeted by one of the most loving gestures I could imagine--Neal had the kids help him get the Christmas lights up on the house and in the yard. How he managed to have it in him to do that after just finishing the fence project, I don't know. I cried for all the love I felt. I had one whole day to get my laundry done and pack before we took off for Thanksgiving. For someone who'd been away from home for just short of a month, I actually couldn't wait to get away with my family.